Writing

I used to be able write. I know part of me still can because I have gotten A’s papers I ave written for school. But to really write? I haven’t in years. I miss it. I don’t remember the last time I wrote a poem or a letter or just me expressing myself. Did I lose that when I placed my daughter? Or was it before that. I try and pinpoint the moment I stopped but I can’t.
I have tried to start blogs before and post a few times only to be left hanging with nothing to say for the next post. I read other blogs. People writing month after month, year after year and I feel envy. WHY CAN’T I DO THAT?
Its been almost 9 years since I placed my daughter. In May. I was ok, for a long time. I’m not sure what happened reccently but something went off in my head, I COULD HAVE DONE THIS AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN OK. Was it that stupid circus peanut moment which is totally random? Was it my boyfriends adorable son who follows my every move? I don’t know.
As far as this blog, I can’t say at this moment if I will keep writing here. If I have engough to say right now. And even if I do,  if I am ready to say, in a way, out loud.